I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
