I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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