u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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