I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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