that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
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I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
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I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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