Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
