You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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