just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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