I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
