You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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