trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize