i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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