It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
