I hate all girls vehemently.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
