I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize