I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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