Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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