and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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