its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
