Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize