can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize