Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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