remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the condom got lost in my hair
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
