I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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