the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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