why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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