i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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