i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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