Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
420 ftw
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize