She said her name was "party"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
