i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
