my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
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Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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