you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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