dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
