try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
