We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
