Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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