Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
