he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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