i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
