please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Damn victory sex feels great
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
