i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
