I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
