We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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