evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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