Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My vagina is very pro this idea
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
