Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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