Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
