Dual....:-)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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