She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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