Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
