Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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