I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
