So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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