i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize