i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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