you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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