Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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